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If you were given a chance to become a meme ! which character  meme you wann to turn into and why ?

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Big Fan


A Man and His Dog


A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that his faithful dog had been dead for many years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. As he reached the wall, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch, and the street that led to the gate made from pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water? We have traveled far," the man said.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."
The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
    The man thought a moment, remembering all the years this dog remained loyal to him and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going. After another long walk he came to a plain dirt road, which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
    "Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water? We have traveled far."
    "Yes, sure, there's a faucet over there." The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in and help yourself."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to his dog.
"There should be a bowl by the faucet; he is welcome to share."
    They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned faucet with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is heaven," was the answer.
    "Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was heaven, too."
    "Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
    "No. We're just happy that they screen out the folks who'd leave their best friends behind in exchange for material things." 
The end...............................or is it?


The Miser and His Gold


Adapted from the tale by Aesop.
miser: one who is stingy with money

Once there was a very rich old man who hated to spend money. He so
much detested the idea of spending any of his riches, that he kept his entire
fortune hidden. In the back of a young farmer’s barn, under the bales of hay, the
old man buried his gold. No one but he knew where the gold was hidden. And
each night, the old man would sneak into the young farmer’s barn and stare at his
gold. He did this because nothing gave him so much pleasure as seeing all of this
wealth before him.
Then, after several years of hiding more and more gold and visiting the
young farmer’s barn each night, the old man was shocked to go there one evening
and find all of his gold missing. There was not a single coin, not a single bar, not a
single ring, nor a single necklace in the young farmer’s barn anymore. Someone
had stolen the old man’s wealth, and he was furious.
Angrily, the old man went to the young farmer first, banging on the door
and demanding to know what happened to his gold. Unfortunately for the old
man, the young farmer had no idea what he was talking about. He even allowed
the old man to search the farmhouse to prove his innocence. And after practically
turning the home upside down, the old man realized that the farmer was telling
the truth. The farmhouse was hardly even decorated, and there was no evidence
that the farmer ever knew that the old man was storing money in the barn, much
less that the farmer had stolen the money.
But being a kind young man, he offered to help the old man search for his
gold. Together, they went from house to house, town to town, looking for the gold
or for the person who may have stolen it. After a long time, and without any luck
in finding the guilty party, the young farmer and the old man sat down to talk.
“I can imagine how upset you must be, sir” said the young farmer. “Were
you going to use the money to buy yourself a nice home or fancy clothes or
something else that you’ve always wanted?”
“No,” replied the old man.
“Were you planning on spending it on your wife or your family or your
friends, so that they might have something they truly treasure?” the farmer asked.
“No,” replied the old man.
“Were you going to donate the money to a worthy cause, hoping that it
would be put to good use?”
“No,” the old man said again. “I just enjoyed looking at it. I enjoyed going
into the barn and staring at all the money I had.”
The farmer thought for a few moments and then said, “Come with me,
please.”
The old man followed the young farmer back to the barn where the money
had been stolen. They walked to the bales of hay in the back of the barn, and the
old man showed the young farmer where he once sat and stared at his riches. The
farmer told him to sit down and look again at where the riches once were. The old
man did, but had a puzzled look on his face.
“Why should I stare at where my money once was? It is no longer there
anymore!” said the old man.
“That’s true, sir” said the young farmer, “but since you never once used
your wealth for anything--not for yourself, for your loved ones, or for strangers--it
should do you just as much good to sit there and stare at nothing like a fool.”

The lady and the dog...

Ok, here's another short silly story. I hope you enjoy it.

    One day this one lady got bitten by a rabid dog so she went to the hospital. The doctor told her that it was a terrible and severe bite so he suggested that she'd write a will. So she did and just kept writing and writing and writing. 
    After a long while, the doctor came back while she was still writing. 
    He asked her, "Wow, that's a rather long will!."
    She responded, "No it's not a will, it's a list of people I'm gonna bite."

Get it? She got rabies from that vicious dog.

Radio Conversation


This is supposed to be the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.
- Please change your direction 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
- Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.
- This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
- No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
- THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
- This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Technical Support


I worked in technical support at Silicon Graphics about a year ago, and I was part of the group that was first in line to handle problem calls. Oh, joy. Being only eighteen at the time, my experience in the field of technical support was somewhat limited, but I could still handle my own.
Now, as you may or may not know, SGI sells top of the line computers used in many different industries. On average, they're about three times as expensive as personal PCs and are meant to be used by professionals in the industries they're used in.
Anyway, the following call came in:
Customer: "I just received an Onyx yesterday, and I tried to set it up today and it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "It just doesn't boot up?"
Customer: "It doesn't even turn on. I see nothing on the screen, and the fan doesn't even turn on in the back of the system."
Tech Support: "Is the monitor functioning? Is there a little green light in the lower right corner of the monitor?"
Customer: "Yes, there is."
Tech Support: "Ok, is the computer plugged in?"
Customer: (irritated) "Look, I think I know how to set up a system. I'm a college graduate, you know."
Tech Support: "Ok, let me finish typing up this report, and I'll send it off. You will get a reply within one business day."
Customer: (exasperated) "Thank you. Geez, I mean I paid a huge amount of money for this computer. The least you people can do it make sure it works before sending it to me!"
Customer: "I mean, to add to the poor quality control, you even sent me one extra power cord."
Tech Support: "One extra cord?"
Customer: "Yes, it looks just the one I used to plug in the monitor and computer, but that's all you sent to me. I have no use for this other one."
At this point, I thought I should inquire a little more...but use a bit of tact to do so.
Tech Support: "Sir, can you double check the serial number on the back of your computer?"
Customer: "On the back of the computer?"
Tech Support: "Yes, sir."
Customer: (sigh) "All right, all right, hold on..."
I heard a few muffled grunts as he crawled over his desk to see the back of the computer. He repeated the serial number from the sticker. I didn't bother to verify it.
Tech Support: "Thank you, sir. Oh, by the way, can you check to see if the computer is plugged in?"
Dead silence. I could just picture the man's face when he realized that the computer was never plugged in in the first place and that the "extra" power cord he was holding in his hand was for the computer. I didn't wait for a response from him. I thanked him for calling, hung up, and closed the case.

Smart Student


The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late.
Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.
A 'smart' student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?"
As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look.
"Well," he responded, "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand."

Jokes

              Enjoy these beautiful educational jokes



Physics Teacher: Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?

Student: Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.




Two factory workers are talking.

Woman: I can make the boss give me the day off.
Man: And how would you do that?
Woman: “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

Boss comes in: What are you doing?
Woman: I’m a light bulb.
Boss: You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.

The man starts to follow her and the boss says: Where are you going?
The man says: I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.



A man is talking to God.

The man: God, how long is a million years?
God: To me, it’s about a minute.
The man: God, how much is a million dollars?
God: To me it’s a penny.
The man: God, may I have a penny?
God: Wait a minute.



A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”

The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”

The little girl replied, “My homework.”



The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”




Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”

Teacher: Here is a math problem. If your dad earned $300 dollars a week and he gave your mother half, what should he have?
Student: A heart attack.



Teacher: This essay on your dog is, word for word, the same as your brother’s.
Student: Yes, sir, it is the same dog.



Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
Vincent: One dollar.
Teacher: You don’t know your arithmetic.
Vincent: You don’t know my father.



Sylvia: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Dad: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Sylvia: Your name on this report card.



Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Junior: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Junior: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.







U Mad ?


Troll Soldier


Totally Worth It


Luigi Can Never Catch A Break


Guilty As Charged


Boromiration


India in 90's

For people who grew up in India in the 90s, the time of innocence as well the time when everything started to change real quick. Here are few points you can recognize yourself in.

1) You know the words to ‘In-pin-safety-pin’ and ‘akkad-bakkad’ by heart

2) Cricket is almost a religion for you, and you idolize at least one of Rahul Dravid/Sachin Tendulkar/Saurav Ganguly.

3) You have read at least some Chacha Chaudhary or Tinkle comic.

4) You’ve watched Shaktimaan on TV at least once in your life. And you can immediately recognize the character when you see him.

5) You have some ‘NRI’ relatives.

6) You couldn’t wait for it to be December so you could have the Toblerone chocolates your NRI relatives brought you

7) You watched Cartoon Network, and then the late night movies on TNT that came after Cartoon Network ended.

8) You watched corny dubbed versions of Small Wonder, Silver Spoon, and I Dream of Jeanie

9) You were THRILLED when McDonald’s opened in your neighborhood (or even eight kilometers away)

10) A visit to Pizza Hut used to mean a special treat

11) You have seen Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Hum Aapke Hain Kaun at least 5 times each

12) You still remember the theme song of Hum Paanch. (Hum Paanch, Pam Pam Pam Paanch!)

13) You have played hours upon hour of running and catching, chor-police, lagori, saankli, ‘Doctor, doctor, help us!’, ‘Lock and key’

14) You have seen girls play ‘Amina Super Sina’ more times than you can remember. (And you still don’t know what it means!)

15) Dog ‘in’ the bone was your favorite co-ed game. 

16) Much of your free time in school was spent playing UNO.

17) You collected trump cards of wrestlers, cricketers, and airplanes, and did not quite understand why your younger siblings were obsessed with Pokemon and the other Japanese trends that followed.

18) Your summer vacations were often synonymous with visiting your grandparents or cousins

19) Your parents, at some point, told you ‘Dark Room’ was a bad game to play. But you still loved playing it.

20) Bole mere lips, I love uncle Chips!

21) You know the song ‘Made in India’ by Alisha Chinai

22) You have seen many many many episodes of ‘Antakshari’ on Zee TV and know the only thing constant in the show is Annu Kapoor.

23) Many evenings have been spent watching little kids gyrate vulgarly on Boogie Woogie on Sony.

24) You were the coolest thing in class if you had a computer in your house while it was still the 90s.

25) You learnt LOGO and BASIC in school!

26) You couldn’t wait to start 4th standard so you could start writing with PENS instead of with pencils!

27) You often used terms and phrases like ‘two-say’, ‘same to you, back to you, with no returns’, and ‘shame shame, puppy shame, all the donkeys know your name.’

28) You most probably saw Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge at the cinema at least once. You also fantasized about singing songs in mustard fields as in the movie.

29) You have seen David Dhawan and Govinda movies and laughed at them.

31) You have said ‘haw’ or ‘yuck’ when you saw people kissing in English movies. (nowadays kids are used to it!)

30) Titanic was your FIRST favourite english movie. 

31) You thought seeing English movies and speaking English made you the coolest thing ever.

32) You remember the Gujarat earthquake very clearly and could possibly tell everyone EXACTLY what you were doing when the earthquake occurred (yes, this happened in 2001, January 26, 2001, to be exact — but this group is about the things that Indian kids that GREW UP in the 90s remember and identify with).

33) Barbies for girls, and GI Joes for boys were the ultimate status symbols. You just wanted more more more and more. And how can I forget Hot Wheels, for both boys and girls?

34) You thought ‘imported’ clothes were definitely way better than ‘made in India’ clothes (never mind that a lot of clothes brought from overseas by NRI relatives were actually made in India, before ‘Made in China’ started appearing on EVERY existing thing)

35) “Jungle Jungle Baat Chali Hai Pata Chala Hai! Chaddi Pehen Ke Phool Khila Hai Phool Khila Hai!” You watched “The Jungle Book” every Sunday morning at 9.a.m” and just loved mowgli, bhalu and bagheera. A few years later, you watched Disney Hour, which had cartoons like Aladdin, Gummy Bears, Tail Spin, Uncle Scrooge!

36) At some point or other, cool was your favourite, and therefore, most overused word.

37) Captain Planet was your first introduction to environmental consciousness.

38) You have tried to convince people around you to not burst crackers on Diwali, and then gone straight back home and burst them yourself.

39) You have had endless packets of Parle Gluco G biscuits, and of Brittania Little Hearts biscuits.

40) You loved licking off the cream from the centre of Bourbon biscuits.

41) There were no Nike, Reebok, Adidas, Puma- Bata and Liberty was the way to go for your sports shoes.

42) You have probably consumed more Frooti in your lifetime than there is oil in Iraq.

43) You watched Baywatch on Star World when nobody was home even though (or because) your parents said you shouldn’t watch it. 

44) You bought packets of potato chips for the specific purpose of collecting Tazos. And you had Tazos depicting everyone from Confucius to Daffy Duck to Daffy Duck dressed as Confucius.

45) For the longest time, the Maruti 800, the Premier Padmini, THE Fiat, and THE Ambassador were the only cars you saw on the road, and the Contessa was cool because it was bigger.

46) You would literally jump up in excitement if you ever chanced upon an imported car (Oh my gosh, is that really a MERCEDES?)!

47) You spent a good part of 1998 drooling over the Hyundai Santro and the Daewoo Matiz , debating which one was better.

48) You used to Fuzen gum. You also chewed Big (big) Babool and/or Boom Boom Boomer chewing gum. They were bright pink and disgusting tasting, but you loved them for the temporary tattoos.

49) Talking of temporary tattoos, you sometimes had contests with your classmates about who had more tattoos on their arm, leg, knee, hand, forehead, wherever.

50) You thought Mario and Contra were the coolest things ever invented, especially if you were a boy.

51) You knew that having the latest Hero or Atlas bicycle would make you the coolest kid on the block.

52) You can imitate Sushmita Sen’s winning gasp to perfection.

53) You have, at some point of time, worn GAP clothes (real or fake) like SRK in KKHH.

54) Seemingly senseless acronyms like SRK, DDLJ, DTPH, KKHH actually make sense to you..

55) You have at some point debated who was more beautiful- Aishwarya or Sushmita.

56) Baskin Robbins ice-cream was THE thing to have!

57) You know what Campa Cola is. And you also knew that Coca Cola was THE drink.

58) You would watch WWF keenly every evening/afternoon and loved Bret Hart “Hitman”! really thought Undertaker had seven lives and he made an “actual” appearance in the Akshay Kumar- starrer Khiladiyon ka Khiladi. 

59) When all backpacks (or ’schoolbags’) and water bottles and tiffin boxes had strange cartoon characters that were hybrid versions of seven or eight different characters, and you still bought them, because a green man wih a water pistol, boots, a jet-pack, Johnny bravo hair, a rajasthani mustache, gloves, and underwear (long johns) over his pants, called ‘Mr. X’ was OBVIOUSLY a status symbol.

60) You remember the Nirma tikia jingle.

61) You remember the Nirma girl.

62) You remember the ‘doodh doodh piyo glass full doodh’ ad and also the ‘laal kaala peela, gulabi hara neela classic hai badia bristles wala’ and ‘roz khao ande’ ads.

63) You grew up reading, if you read at all, some or all of Nancy Drews, Enid Blyton books, Hardy Boys, Babysitters Club, Animorphs, Goosebumps, Sweet Valley series, Judy Blumes, and Tintin, or Archie comics. Because naturally, reading foreign authors made you much cooler than reading Tinkle.

64) Towards the late 90s (1998-99) at least some of us started our Harry Potter obsessions!

65) You absolutely HAD to go to Essel World if you were with cousins! “Essel World mein rahoonga main, ghar nahin nahin jaaonga main!” (I never went but always dreamed of going there!)

66) You watched the Bournvita Quiz contest on TV pretty religiously. The smarter ones amongst you actually took part in it and had your entire school and your entire extended families watch you on it!

67) Maggi 2 Minute Noodles = ultimate snack (and tiffin, lunch, dinner)!

68) If you grew up in the early 90s, you recall the nation’s obsession with Mahabharata on TV

69) If u keenly watched Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot on DD2 (there was a DD2 then :P )

70) And eagerly waited for the Saturdays to watch Rex Smith, the man n his machine on Street Hawk (that intro music was awesome :) )

71) If Byomkesh Bakshi was ur favourite detective serial n u waited with baited breath for Thursday 8PM (It was the first serial 2 cross the 30 min slot, it had a 45 min run) 

72) And inspite of that u couldnt miss Tehkikaat, Tiger or KaramChand

73) Your parents always reminded you that Buniyaad still was the all-time best serial n directed by the Sholay director Ramesh Sippy

74) Kavita Choudhury was ur woman of substance and Udaan the best women-oriented show

75) Dekh Bhai Dekh and Movers n Shakers formed an integral part of your weekly routine

76) Playing Prince of Persia in those old DOS-mode-days seemed 2 be the most thrilling experience.

77) In the later 90s, you religiously followed Hip Hip Hooray on Zee. Maybe Just Mohabbat on Sony too

78) You eagerly awaited Friendship Day, so you could give friendship bands to all your friends, and get bands from them in return. Then, of course, those with the most bands loved to show them off .

79) Backstreet Boys’ “Quit Playing Games” was one of the first English songs that you LOVED! 

If you have any more points to suggest comment here. It will be added in the list. :)


And Happy Independence Day

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